Wise Words

Exceptions to the Rule...Superman does Exist

...Okay, this guy is just simply hilarious. Met him at Avenue, thought he was cute, danced with him for a while. He asked for my # but insisted I didn'twrite it down. That's right, he memorized my number off hand with loud music blasting and texted me 10 minutes later. Impressive. He most have ESPN or something...or maybe he's just Superman.

...too bad Superman couldn't remember my name.

Always nice to keep his # stored for occasional shits & giggles, or just in case I find myself in a dire situation since none of these other assholes are reliable, not to mention... a little too imbecilic for my taste.

How Many Fucks does it take to Prove...I'm not Gay?

So far, he's got the whole dinner table covered.

http://thefashionisto.com/fresh-face-sam-sorrells-by-jeff-downie/

Watch out for this fresh face...you never know, you may be eskimo sistaz with your BFF by the time this pretty face has made his rounds.

Crazy for being Not so Crazy over You

Classic case of the typical self-entitled affable guy in the grade above who just just wanted to get some before his flight back. Hopefully his ballerina friend was flexible enough for him.

Classic Case of 'Just Lose my # Already'...

Moral of the Story: Be careful who you give your # out to...even if it's halloween and you're inebriated out of your mind. You never know, he may still be texting you a year later. And girlfriends, be sure to be cautious of any suspicious texting activity.

Too Reeeehtardedly Hot to Respond

Reunited with this kid from elementary school. Stereotypical cool kid who hangs out with the NYC private school circuit and has been partying a little too hard since middle school and onwards. Never recalled him being the brightest crayon in the box, but when I instructed him to read a passage from the Animal Intelligence chapter of the National Geographic book that was on display and he was unable to after 7 words, I was forced put HIS level of animal intelligence into question.

However, I should've known better. One word responses are always a red flag and leave you with a few options to consider. Either He's Just Not That Into You, he's actually a middle school girl trapped inside a man's body, or he falls under the tragic case of being...Reeeetardedly HaWt.

GGGGGlovely knowing you MIT guy

#most epic break up

Never comprise your individuality for anyone...even if they actually do happen to be HS pals with the Zuck.

Get Physical...A # Worth Keeping

Personal trainers are a MUST for every girl who wants to party and look fabulous doing it. Meet a cute, muscular hunk at the gym? Use him for what he's good for...turn him into your own personal trainer. Only text him on that special occasion when you realize those vodka tonics are starting to get the best of you and it's time to hit the gym. That's why it's important to be sure to pick the cutest possible personal trainer so you'll be more inclined to take advantage of your membership on a more frequent basis. Maybe if he's good, you two will get to practice those squats together at home (however, this is not encouraged).

French Class Study Buddy/Stalker/Wannabe BF

Met him in french class. Claimed he needed extra help and thought taking me out to Je Bon (meaning 'I bone' for all you non-French speakers) would get me in the sack. 3 years later he still messages me...sad. Guess he won't be hearing back from me very soon.